If you’ve ever heard the superstition that you’re never supposed to flip a fish after eating one side before getting on a boat or while on a boat because then the boat will capsize, there’s a solution. At least that’s the superstition in China, so they slice the fish down its belly and open its cross section so both sides can be cooked and both sides can be eaten without hassle.

Most of the time anyway.

It took five years and a return to China until I understand the difference.

While eating some pork wontons at a local noodleshop in the cold, two things happened: 1) The food was so warm in the cold air that after I ate it I could breathe steam like a dragon, and 2) There was that taste again. I asked my friend eating with me and discovered, yeah it tastes different than all the meat I’m used to because this pork didn’t taste like pork, it tasted like how pig smells.

Not my favorite meal. But I kept thinking about it and realized sure enough these wontons had a particular earthiness that doesn’t exist in the antibiotic injected slab of boneless meat I pick up at my local grocery store. The smell of dirt. The presence of bones. The skin still attached. These were just parts of the taste. Possibly this taste is most visibly differentiated by seeing the chicken head and all.

This is more present than ever in a local delicacy: stinky tofu. It smells, literally, like shit. I’m pretty sure it might be bathed in manure. But all the locals agree: it smells horrible, but they can’t stop eating it.

It’s possible to tell if there’s a stinky tofu vendor blocks away because it is so fragrant. Other businesses have tried to force stinky tofu vendors away from their own storefronts because it constantly stinks up the place. But the people love it. Certainly an unexplainable craving for that bizarre taste could grow, it just didn’t happen the first and possibly last time I tried it.

I was working and having culinary adventures in China for a while but now I’m back stateside, so expect lots more to come, very very soon! Photos, videos, adventures, games, culture shock, maybe even some gushiness about how much luxury we have in the states.

Seriously though, I might even rank the Chinese food above Thai food. It’s that good.

There’s diversity. I know the stereotype is rice but I ate more rice in the Philippines than in China.

There’s noodles, for about $1-2. If you go to one of the la mian (pulled noodle) restaurants, many of which are owned by the Hui ethnic group from northwestern China. You can watch as they take a slab of very glutenous dough and pull it apart, halving it, pulling it apart, each time doubling the number of strands they have, until there are hundreds of noodles pulled in just a few minutes from a mound. They even have pictures on the wall so you can point out what you want. It works out well because the same photos are at each of these Hui restaurants, so you always know what’s on the menu.

Proud noodle maker

Shy noodle maker.

There’re dumplings, especially good with the peanut sauce, mmmm.

Never before has egg and tomato tasted so good even if this photo doesn’t do it justice.

Five kuài (about 80 cents) will get a spicy chicken sandwich that is as addictive as crack.

Twice I ate food surprise. What is food surprise? A food you eat and later ask, what is this? And Surprise! It’s dog. Which had a very un-chicken like taste. And frog. Which made me want to give up meat altogether, if short lived.

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About the meat. It’s never really the main course like in America. More often it’s added for the taste. I almost feel like a vegetarian, or a meateterian who prefers veggies while here.

Then there’s the fact I never feel full after eating this food. It’s all so light, sometimes a bit oily, but my stomach is a bottomless pit of a black hole stealing away all the veggies and meat and rice and noodles. That’s where chips ahoy comes in. I will intentionally eat cookies after a chinese meal not only because I have the biggest sweet tooth this side of the universe, but because it’s the only thing that adds that heavy layer in my belly and really makes me feel full. The chop sticks weren’t helping this phenomenon, because I would eat bit bit bit, surely slower than with a fork or spoon. But the wood chop stick texture is actually very suited for eating.

The first couple times I ate western food again my belly felt like it was going to burst. Immobilized heart pounding food coma bowling ball in my stomach full the only thing I could do was pass out. I guess I miss Chinese food.

You know those Chinese restaurants in the states? Well, I wouldn’t describe them as authentic. Certainly no egg and tomatoes, but maybe I’ll have to look for my other favorite dish: eggplant. Eggplant?! I still can’t believe it. Never have I appreciated its well cooked purple mushiness until now, shooting from the lowest despicable tastes straight to the top just like Fermina Daza’s taste for it in Love in the Time of Cholera.

That’s one of the things I’m always surprise by when I travel.  I get rid of those preconceived notions of food or people and end up loving the impossible.  Even eggplant.

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Note: Thanks to chinesefooddiy.com for the photo of eggplant, beijingmadeeasy.com for the egg and tomato, and youtube user jyaki2 for the la mian video.

BBQ is one of the cheapest and most abundant sources of my dinners. Perfect to get on the way home.

The many little stands on the side of the road usually just offer three or four bits of pork on a stick. Perhaps they have a little more, like chicken feet or intestine.

The big BBQ shop down the road a little way, affectionately referred to as “Roadside Grill” even offers chicken legs, breasts, or even squid.

Sometimes you forget that squid has ink in it. And after these squid are cooked? The ink is still there. So don’t eat this if you don’t want black teeth.

Buy some rice wrapped in banana leaves and you got a quick meal for around a dollar.

…take enough Jeepneys to travel around the city multiple times.

…buy more than enough food from a local food stand or bbq.

…make your own salad from 30 cent heads of lettuce, 4 cent roma tomatoes, 2 cent calamansi (think lime), and anything else you can find.

…get your laundry done. hand washed. hang dried.

…have someone clean your house.

…buy about 65 bananas.

…and get your bike tuned up when it squeaks and the brakes don’t work quite right.

Whenever I ate Calamare, I never considered how they made rings out of the squid. It’s from the head. So simple. And tasty!

I ordered this from Outpost, a funky raggae bar in Cebu.

Now, as a newly formed avocado connoisseur, they are a little more watery than the hass I’m used to. But funny shape and slightly different color, they mix in with other foods just as well. The one plus with the wateryness? They’re better for shakes than the ones in the states. I always thought avocado shakes were far too dense, but now I understand how they can work.

Oh, and it’s really freaking obvious when they’re ripe. I think it takes about ten seconds for them to turn pretty much neon green to dark seaweed green. Can’t miss it!

And the most amusing part: several of my new friends here, one native from Cebu and one Indian have never had guacamole! So I’ve made it my mission to spread it.